How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?
If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will soon: the dreaded request for a LinkedIn Recommendation from a former co-worker or employee that you may not want to give one to. Why? Well, every time you make a recommendation, it appears on your profile and becomes part of your LinkedIn Brand. Perhaps you don’t want to be associated in any way with this person. What to do?
As any power LinkedIn user will tell you, a LinkedIn Recommendation, especially coming from a trusted former manager, is a valuable commodity. In recognition of this, instead of ignoring the request, I would recommend you do one of the following:
- Recommend that person for only the positive aspects that they have, not making mention of the negative aspects. I am a believer that every person has a good side to them. Why not help them out as much as you can while remaining honest and true to your ethic? This is, of course, assuming that this person indeed have some good skills that you would recommend.
- If for whatever reason you don’t feel comfortable recommending them, reply privately telling them about your policy on LinkedIn Recommendations. Make it clear to them, and if you have feedback for them, this is an appropriate time to give it to them. If they were not good at what they did and you refuse to give them a LinkedIn Recommendation, chances are others have responded the same. But it is a true mentor and friend who can be honest and give them some constructive criticism instead of ignoring them. Become a positive force in the world.
LinkedIn Recommendations have the potential to separate the “fake” from the real people on LinkedIn, so I am sure even a one sentence recommendation would be highly appreciated by the individual. And just as with Windmill Networking, you are doing this individual a great favor by recommending them, a favor which they may pay you back someday when you may be in need of their help for whatever reason.
I personally have never had the issue of having to give a LinkedIn Recommendation to someone I did not want to, except in the case of people that I am connected to being a LinkedIn Open Networker who request a recommendation even though we’ve never met! This is a no brainer: just because we are connected on LinkedIn doesn’t mean I am going to recommend you! My Windmill Network does not equal my physical network.
At the end of the day, the choice is obviously yours. I am only presenting one opinion of many. If you were in the above situation, what would you do?
Related articles by Zemanta
- Are We Connected.com: “Who do you recommend and why?” (mikemueller.posterous.com)
- The Art of Giving Praise (blogs.harvardbusiness.org)
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=b6b2f802-6e87-4981-a9f8-ce3f4b732a53)
Neal Schaffer is recognized as a leader in helping businesses and professionals embrace and strategically leverage the potential of social media. An award-winning published author, frequent speaker at social media events, and an avid blogger, Neal is President of 
Comments
Great insights. I usually reply with my own personal policy – but that has been shaped over time, especially as these things have gotten out of control.
I normally use this maxim: if they are writing a book about your career, would the person you want a recommendation from be in the book at all? NO? Then probably not a sensible recommendation to ask for.
Great advice Dave! I love your policy…good for thought for people who want to request a LinkedIn recommendation!
LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? By – Neal Schaffer http://icio.us/ps4h5d
How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?: If it hasn’t happened to you yet, … http://bit.ly/6rdBq2
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kevin Liebl, TakeThePlungeCoffee. TakeThePlungeCoffee said: LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? By – Neal Schaffer http://icio.us/ps4h5d [...]
#Networking Advice How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don't Want to Give? http://ow.ly/16nRKP
New @NealSchaffer How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don't Want to Give? http://ow.ly/16nR1K
Neal Schaffer #blog How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don't Want to Give? http://ow.ly/16nQZY
LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? | Windmill Networking: If it hasn’t happened to you yet, … http://bit.ly/7pIrfW
RT @NealSchaffer: New blog post: How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give? http://tinyurl.com/y9cch83
How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?: If it hasn’t ha… http://bit.ly/4HOptK (via @NealSchaffer)
How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?: If it hasn’t happ… http://bit.ly/6Cq2gN via @NealSchaffer
How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?: If it hasn’t happ… http://bit.ly/5ANBLu via @NealSchaffer
I've had a different kind of a request. I've had people who were in my network (because I believe in open networking) who I didn't know ask me for a recommendation. It was never clear to me just what these people wanted me to say, but some implied that because I was a 1st connection, that that had some merits of its own.
The other thing, of course, is that when accumulate a large number of connections, it's difficult to remember any one person that well. So, even when I'm pretty sure that the person has never done anything for me, I ask him (it's never been a her) to remind me of the work he did. And, I state clearly that I only recommend those who have.
Cheers, Bruce
Dr Bruce Hoag, CPsychol
Work Psychologist
http://www.p-advantage.com/Newsletter.php
RT @Lifes_Dash: RT @NealSchaffer: How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommend Request I Don’t Want to Give? http://ow.ly/YU0l
Hey Bruce, yes, I run into the same problem of other LIONs wanting a LinkedIn Recommendation from me. I find that sort of request to be really bizarre…and on your second note, if you don't even remember the person asking for the recommendation, chances are they don't deserve it
- Neal
RT @nealschaffer LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? | Windmill Networking http://tinyurl.com/y9cch83
Good Advice – LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? | Windmill Networking http://ow.ly/YRvy
Very clear policy, Neal. Makes a lot of sense.
Asking for a recommendation involves a trusted personal relationship to the one who is asked to write one. Everybody outside this frame automatically disqualifies. At least that is how I see it. I generally don´t support hidden agendas and riding on people`s coattails. And I express it very clearly. Linked In clearly should not be a platform for these kinds of approaches.
You have a much more diplomatic approach, that I appreciate.
Hey Neal. Really great points. I especially like the recommendation that if you don't feel comfortable giving the recommendation, then let them know why. This kind of response could be instrumental in helping that person be successful at their next job. And beyond that I think that this is one thing that builds the best friendships because then that person knows that underneath everything, his or her well being and progression are important to you.
My current employer has a policy prohibiting me from posting recommendations for anyone I've worked with here, so I am in an awkward position if a co-worker were to ask me for a referral (even after leaving).
Beyond that, I make many referrals but few recommendations as I believe that a recommendation is a form of personal promise and reflects directly on my judgement and image. I've seen recommendations such as “I would recommend J. Doe for any position X job anywhere!”, which to me is insincere and unrealistic. Even if J. Doe did well in a certain organization and assignment, it is no guarantee that this person would do well in another company – and I don't want to make a blanket recommendation. Even when I've given personal references for a particular job, I try to understand what the potential employer is looking for and speak to the candidate's strengths. Or my opinion of an individual may change over time, and you can't take back recommendations.
Instead of a popularity contest referral form, I wish that Linked/In provided an anonymous way for me to indicate that I would serve as a reference for an individual (anonymous to searchers at large, not to the candidate); so that they could choose to utilize me as an individualized reference when appropriate and have my contact information forwarded then.
This discussion puzzles me. If I were to be asked for a recommendation and I don't want to give one, I say I do not want to give one. My view is that I am under no pressure nor obligation to say or do anything else. My expectation is the person asking understands this, if they don't, that is clue card that something else is going on that goes beyond the scope of the request.
For those curious…How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give? http://bit.ly/6gzwn4
For those curious…How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give? http://bit.ly/6gzwn4
RT @nealschaffer LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? http://tinyurl.com/y9cch83 #linkedin #jobsearch
RT @nealschaffer LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them? | Windmill Networking http://tinyurl.com/y9cch83
This is a tough question. I've asked for recommendations from those that I felt deserved a recommendation and did not/ have not received one. I wonder if I'm getting the ignore function of their brain.
Great thread!
RE: @nealschaffer This is a tough question. I've asked for recommendations from those that I felt deserved a recommend… http://disq.us/9h7wm
Hi Goetz,
Glad you appreciate the approach. I think it's just a logical common sense approach which gives respect to both parties involved.
- Neal
Hey Rachel,
Thanks for the comment
Yes, LinkedIn is about relationships, so even when I am Windmill Networking with those that I have never met, I have an obligation to help “educate” them if I feel they ask for something that is out of scope. Needless to say the same is true for people that I have worked with before.
- Neal
Hi Joyce,
Excellent points. I do believe that a lot of companies are limiting the recommendations that one can give on LinkedIn, and your points on recommendations being only applicable to a particular position at a particular company as well make perfect sense. I don't think LinkedIn would ever do the “anonymous” recommendations, though, as their whole policy is that you should be connecting with, and thus recommending, people that you personally know and allow others in your network to see that review. That being said, I believe there is a place for the “anonymous” recommendation if LinkedIn could verify that you were real and connected to that person. LinkedIn, are you listening?
- Neal
Hi JR,
You have a valid point. I am only pointing out the importance of LinkedIn Recommendations and treating the person who asks it with a little respect by informing them of your decision instead of ignoring them. There obviously is no right or wrong answer here and I totally respect your policy.
- Neal
Hey Nick,
I would absolutely ask them for a reason why if you think you deserve one and that it is important to you. Couldn't hurt, could it? If they don't even respond a second time that is a different issue altogether…
- Neal
Thanks for stopping by LeJon!
- Neal
Thank you for the courtesy of your comment; I truly appreciate your time and effort expended to respond. I always attempt to treat folks with respect. That includes saying no and saying yes to their requests. That is far from ignoring them; they know whether it is yes or no – and that is the correct answer to their question, no ambiguity.
How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?:
If it .. http://bit.ly/4YEZhP
via @NealSchaffer
How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?:
If it .. http://bit.ly/7mBTt3
via @NealSchaffer
Interesting topic by @NealSchaffer: Dealing w/ LinkedIn recommendation request you don't wanna give http://bit.ly/6qmoOB
JR – Good point. I wasn't pointing my finger at you but at those who ignore instead of responding no like you do. I totally respect that…at least give the courtesy of clarity to those requesting!
- Neal
JR – Good point. I wasn't pointing my finger at you but at those who ignore instead of responding no like you do. I totally respect that…at least give the courtesy of clarity to those requesting!
- Neal
LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them?.. http://su.pr/368jHy
@TakeThe_Plunge LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them?.. http://su.pr/368jHy
RT @InCliss: @TakeThe_Plunge LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them?.. http://su.pr/368jHy
RT @InCliss: @TakeThe_Plunge LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them?.. http://su.pr/368jHy Neal Schaffer<—Follow him Too!
RT @InCliss: @TakeThe_Plunge LinkedIn Recommendation Requests: How to Deal with Them?.. http://su.pr/368jHy (via @TakeThe_Plunge)