How Should I Deal with a LinkedIn Recommendation Request I Don’t Want to Give?

Great insights. I usually reply with my own personal policy – but that has been shaped over time, especially as these things have gotten out of control.

I normally use this maxim: if they are writing a book about your career, would the person you want a recommendation from be in the book at all? NO? Then probably not a sensible recommendation to ask for.

I've had a different kind of a request. I've had people who were in my network (because I believe in open networking) who I didn't know ask me for a recommendation. It was never clear to me just what these people wanted me to say, but some implied that because I was a 1st connection, that that had some merits of its own.

The other thing, of course, is that when accumulate a large number of connections, it's difficult to remember any one person that well. So, even when I'm pretty sure that the person has never done anything for me, I ask him (it's never been a her) to remind me of the work he did. And, I state clearly that I only recommend those who have.

Cheers, Bruce

Dr Bruce Hoag, CPsychol
Work Psychologist
http://www.p-advantage.com/Newsletter.php

Very clear policy, Neal. Makes a lot of sense.

Asking for a recommendation involves a trusted personal relationship to the one who is asked to write one. Everybody outside this frame automatically disqualifies. At least that is how I see it. I generally don´t support hidden agendas and riding on people`s coattails. And I express it very clearly. Linked In clearly should not be a platform for these kinds of approaches.

You have a much more diplomatic approach, that I appreciate.

My current employer has a policy prohibiting me from posting recommendations for anyone I've worked with here, so I am in an awkward position if a co-worker were to ask me for a referral (even after leaving).

Beyond that, I make many referrals but few recommendations as I believe that a recommendation is a form of personal promise and reflects directly on my judgement and image. I've seen recommendations such as “I would recommend J. Doe for any position X job anywhere!”, which to me is insincere and unrealistic. Even if J. Doe did well in a certain organization and assignment, it is no guarantee that this person would do well in another company – and I don't want to make a blanket recommendation. Even when I've given personal references for a particular job, I try to understand what the potential employer is looking for and speak to the candidate's strengths. Or my opinion of an individual may change over time, and you can't take back recommendations.

Instead of a popularity contest referral form, I wish that Linked/In provided an anonymous way for me to indicate that I would serve as a reference for an individual (anonymous to searchers at large, not to the candidate); so that they could choose to utilize me as an individualized reference when appropriate and have my contact information forwarded then.

This is a tough question. I've asked for recommendations from those that I felt deserved a recommendation and did not/ have not received one. I wonder if I'm getting the ignore function of their brain.

Hi Goetz,

Glad you appreciate the approach. I think it's just a logical common sense approach which gives respect to both parties involved.

- Neal

Hi Joyce,

Excellent points. I do believe that a lot of companies are limiting the recommendations that one can give on LinkedIn, and your points on recommendations being only applicable to a particular position at a particular company as well make perfect sense. I don't think LinkedIn would ever do the “anonymous” recommendations, though, as their whole policy is that you should be connecting with, and thus recommending, people that you personally know and allow others in your network to see that review. That being said, I believe there is a place for the “anonymous” recommendation if LinkedIn could verify that you were real and connected to that person. LinkedIn, are you listening?

- Neal

Hey Nick,

I would absolutely ask them for a reason why if you think you deserve one and that it is important to you. Couldn't hurt, could it? If they don't even respond a second time that is a different issue altogether…

- Neal

Thank you for the courtesy of your comment; I truly appreciate your time and effort expended to respond. I always attempt to treat folks with respect. That includes saying no and saying yes to their requests. That is far from ignoring them; they know whether it is yes or no – and that is the correct answer to their question, no ambiguity.

JR – Good point. I wasn't pointing my finger at you but at those who ignore instead of responding no like you do. I totally respect that…at least give the courtesy of clarity to those requesting!

- Neal